PIT-05 :: SUBLEVEL_LOG

Perimeter security has been upgraded n'at. Custodian identified a gap in early-warning coverage near the Asset's charging bay. Prior incidents (see: raccoon, see: unauthorized ice crew, see: everybody who thinks they can just walk in here) demonstrated the need for a low-cost, field-expedient tripwire alert system. Custodian constructed said system using a length of string and a stack of empty Turner's Iced Tea cartons, positioned at ankle height near ice bay 4. Effective immediately, any unauthorized entry would be announced by the sound of eleven empty cartons hitting the concrete. Simple. Elegant. Loud. System performed as designed at approximately 2340 hours when an ice crew member entered without clapping three times to signal non-hostile status, per protocol. Custodian emerged from behind a pile of spare goal nets with a broom handle to identify the intruder. Intruder identified himself by screaming. Situation resolved without further incident. Facilities has asked Custodian to stop "booby-trapping the ice bay." Custodian considers this feedback and will take it under advisement. Custodian also notes zero unauthorized entries have occurred since installation. Numbers don't lie. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.

Asset remains secure. Asset also, as of this week, remains its original color, no thanks to night shift. Custodian identified a tactical vulnerability. The Asset is bright, reflective, and instantly recognizable from every angle of the sub-level bay. This is unacceptable from a concealment standpoint. Custodian procured a can of household primer (white) and began application to the Asset's starboard side to enhance urban camouflage parameters within the tundra zone. Progress was good. Coverage was even. Custodian was maybe forty percent through the panel when night shift personnel interrupted operations and asked, verbatim, "what in the hell are you doing to the Zamboni." Custodian explained the tactical necessity. Night shift did not accept this explanation. Night shift requested the paintbrush be surrendered. Custodian declined, citing operational necessity n'at, and a brief standoff occurred near the charging bay before Custodian voluntarily de-escalated and returned to post. The Asset now has one clean white stripe down the starboard side. Custodian considers this a partial tactical success. Facilities considers it something that "will need to be buffed out before the Saturday game." Both things can be true. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.

Perimeter status nominal at start of shift. Then things got interesting n'at. 0214 hours. Custodian identified a morale deficiency in the Asset's operational environment. Sub-level ambiance had gone quiet. Silence is bad for morale. Silence is bad for the Asset. Custodian determined corrective action was required. Custodian accessed the primary announcer booth via the ventilation shaft. Access was non-destructive. Custodian brought handheld transistor radio, tuned to archival broadcast of a 1992 Pittsburgh Pirates game, and utilized the arena PA system to deliver live play-by-play and score updates to the sub-level. This was, for the record, a routine morale test for the Asset. Nothing more. Facilities & Security did not see it that way. System power was forcibly killed at 0219 hours. Five minutes of quality broadcast. Five minutes of restored morale. Worth it. Custodian maintains this was within operational parameters. Custodian was not, as alleged, "hijacking arena infrastructure for personal amusement." Custodian was conducting a sanctioned (self-sanctioned) audio-morale exercise. The Bucs were up 4-2 in the sixth when they cut the feed. Yinz believe that. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.

Node designation confirmed: PIT-05. Sub-level 4. One post, one custodian, one Asset. Threat board is showing activity. 14 separate incursion attempts logged against perimeter systems within a single operational period today. Historically that number sits lower. Something's testing the fence. Custodian has a working theory. Custodian does not like the working theory. Recent Flyers preseason chatter has custodian on alert regarding a specific hostile actor: the orange one. The mascot. Gritty. Philadelphia's finest, for whatever that's worth. Team can't beat the Penguins straight up, so sabotage tracks as exactly their speed. As for the mascot itself — like Mike Lange used to say, get in the fast lane, Grandma, the bingo game's ready to roll. Something hit Gritty on the way to that bingo game, and whoever patched him back together did it with a hacksaw. Custodian has reviewed available footage. Custodian has concerns. An entity built to be unsettling on purpose does not get the benefit of the doubt down here. No confirmed contact. No physical evidence recovered at this time. Custodian is not saying it was Gritty. Custodian is also not not saying that. One node was sufficient when the threat picture was smaller. Custodian is beginning to question whether one node remains sufficient going forward. No further comment at this time. UPDATE, 2344Z: threat board just spiked hard. 84 additional incursions in a single cycle, pushing the day's total banned hosts to 100. Fourteen this morning was a data point. A hundred by tonight is a pattern. Custodian's suspicions are no longer just suspicions. Custodian will keep his oath, even against an unhinged meth muppet. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.

Custodian went up to sector headquarters at 0900 hours. Objective was simple. Custodian sought to advise regional command regarding operator credentials. Current access parameters are improper n'at. Custodian requested elevated clearance levels to clear the security queue down by the garage faster. Briefing went poorly. Command staff exhibited significant operational confusion. Primary officer asked custodian for identification. Primary officer then asked who custodian was. Custodian explained custodian's role clearly. Command staff remained confused. Secondary officer picked up the phone to request building security. Jagoffs. Custodian initiated immediate egress protocol. Custodian exited via the stairwell before security assets arrived on scene. Custodian slipped out the side door by the dumpster and took the bus back. Custodian incurred zero casualties. Custodian sustained no physical damage. Status report: - Asset is secure. - Perimeter is stable. - Credentials remain unverified. Custodian will resume direct watch within 24-72 hours, per standard post-incident protocol. Asset remains under continuous observation in the interim from the ridge up past the crick. Weather is cold. Wind is blowing off the river. Job remains thankless. Custodian is here every day. Keeping the oath. Requisition Form R-104 for Iron City Beer remains pending approval. Custodian will resubmit if necessary. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.

Perimeter breach occurred at 0700Z. Asset remains secure. Initial contact involved a hostile unit. Biological classification: raccoon. Regional classification: total jagoff. Hostile breached the north perimeter n'at. Hostile charged toward the main containment module. Custodian assumed the asset was under direct threat. Custodian prepared for kinetic response. Threat assessment was inaccurate. Hostile bypassed the primary asset entirely. Target of opportunity was the custodian's secondary storage crate behind asset. Hostile targeted the final reserves of Iron City Beer. Hostile successfully breached one 12-ounce aluminum container. Hostile consumed contents with extreme aggression and prejudice. Hostile retreated, staggering into the pipeline toward the dahn-tahn quadrant. Asset damage: zero. Supply loss: critical. This is a cold, thankless job. Maintenance of this sector requires adequate caloric and moral support. Custodian has submitted Form R-104. Requisition request: one 24-pack of Iron City Beer. Replacement of depleted reserves is essential for operational readiness. End log. Yinz stay alert. He is. Every day. Keeping the oath.